uhhh

So things havent been going to well. I am finding myself more worn down and I havent even dont anything. It's mentally I think. I sick of hearing about all these problems from people and I am tired of dealing with mine. I am worried about my Dad I at so sickened by his ways. Yesterday was my moms b-day and My brother has been out there for about 1 week now so I told my girls is was her b-day and I will call her later in the evening(LA) time. Well I assumed shed be busy with Robert, well later in the afternoon JessaMarie was on the phone, then Tom got on the phone, then JessaMarie again, then we left to get her friend it was 8:30p.m....It dawned on me while driving that I didnt get to call so I said oh well I'll call tomorrow. SOOoooooo this morning as soon as I woke up I called her and I said well I wanted to call and say Happy B-day I figured you were busy yesterday so I didnt call....SHE SAID, ya my b-day was yesterday but that's okay thanks...So I got mad and said I JUST SAID.....I KNEW IT WAS BUT FIGURED YOU WERE BUSY.. she said well I always have my cell phone..I said Oh oh well. Then she asked how things were etc etc proceeds to talk about all her fun exciting day and thing they have done. I said ya Dad told me(lol) well she said when did you talk to him I said hmm last night..no Thursday repeat repeat so she knows it was Thur. She add she would like to have pictures of her granddaughters I said well I dont know when. She is started to sound like Barbara WHAT entitles these women to think that earned pictures??? If they left us on a good note maybe but since they up and left the way they did Fuck that. If I ever do this to my kids I told them to have me committed. So Tom took my girls and Jess's friend to the library, I cleaned the kitchen when the phone rang and it was my Dad calling to ask if I knew who was playing tonight at the concert in my area? I thought it was strange so I couldnt recall I told him, the he said a friend was going and they didnt know so I said where are you? Carmichael! yep I knew it he's partying. I can hear his voice, I figured. What pisses me off is that he can drive all the way there and phone all these people but he never can call me or visit me. He is dying for crying out lOUD literally and he wont stop drinking, he stopped me. I hate this crap. Oh and My grandparents place is in escrow which adds more salt to my big gapping wound, just the thought knowing that somebody else will having their name on that home saddens me more. This is so out of control. Oh and Tom adds more layers when he adds his issues about me on, then his work worries I frankly cant take it anymore I am wondering how I am still breathing. I guess this is why I am always tired and lazy this last year. This Lithium does make me cope but I am tired. I hate being low energy. Well On the good side my friend Darbie had her baby girl on 7-28-09 she was due 8-24-09 or something But she now has a daughter and 2 sons. SO adorable. I miss her much wish I could go visit but nooo Tom will freak out. the money, etc etc. She's 8hr away or so in Oregon.